Just a little heads up, this kind of leans on the more soapbox, ranting style, so if that’s not your thing you may want to close out of the tab now. I had seen this tweet this past week and I knew I had to write something about it even though I had something completely different planned out.
When I read this I immediately felt guilty.
Suddenly all these things I had said to people came running back through my mind. Things that I think about now and truly regret. At the time I thought I was being cool and witty, that what I was saying was just something that would be easily forgotten and had no consequences. But that’s not true. I’ve learned the hard way that every joke has a smidgen of truth in it.
You may think you’re being cool by throwing shade at a friend, when in reality what you’re saying about them may be something that already haunts them. Words are a powerful thing, and this generation uses them way too loosely. With all the social media nowadays, us young people are way too focus on how we appear; especially whether or not we appear cool enough. And these days it seems that to be cool you have to be mean.
What ever happened to kindness being the “in” thing to do?
Think about it for a minute. Who are the people in this world that you are attracted to or admire or look up to? Are they people who make fun of you and tease you and blow you off and tell jokes about you and make you feel worthless? Or are they people who always give out compliments and smile at you and ask you how you are and help you in times of need?
Me? I’d go with the second option, but yet sometimes I find myself gravitating towards people similar to the first option. I think this is because I feel that people with hearts of gold are untouchable, and therefore being one is also an unattainable goal. Well, I’m certainly done believing that lie.
This week I made an effort to try and keep more unfavorable thoughts, comments and “jokes” to myself in an effort to distance myself from negativity and hate. I believe I did a pretty good job, but I know I slipped up a few times and it makes my heart ache to think about the possible feelings I might have hurt.
However, when I was able to keep the negative things to myself I noticed that I definitely felt better than if I were to have said them. The same goes for when I witnessed someone cracking a mean joke and I told them it wasn’t funny. I was proud of myself for standing up and trying to make a difference, and I plan on continuing this practice in the future. This world already has too much hate, and we certainly aren’t going to solve it with more hate.
So make it your mission to be kind to people. Not only will you brighten someone else’s mood but your’s as well. Even if they aren’t being the nicest to you. I mean, sure it hurts when someone is a complete and utter jerk to you, but stooping to their level and being a jerk back isn’t going to solve anything. It’s only going to lower you into a negative state, and you won’t be able to move forward in life as easy.
If someone is being a jerk to you, there are two options:
1. You can just not say anything and/or walk away.
2. You can say something nice to them
It’s like your mom always told you as a kid, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”
Most importantly, you can’t let someone else make your mind go to the dark side. Don’t let what people say to you, or about you, get to you. Usually, the things people hate on have something to do with things they are battling internally with themselves over.
Also, besides the fact of people being rude or unkindly, there’s also the matter of hate in general. Be careful with what you tell others, or yourself, that you hate, because you may end up hurting someone in the long run. Like if you’re sitting with a group of friends and you end up saying something about how you hate reading and you think it’s the stupidest thing ever that people do it for fun, then that girl sitting across from you who is a total bookworm may decide to give up reading or may feel hurt or maybe it won’t affect her at all. You never know, and that’s why you have to be careful.
Again, if someone says something that hurts you, just remember it has more to do with them than it has to do with you.
Now I’m not saying don’t express your opinions or that it’s not okay to strongly dislike something. That’s totally okay. You have every right to have your own opinions and thoughts. What I’m saying is we need to watch our usage of a word as powerfully packed as the word hate. Try replacing it with dislike, or don’t agree with, or resent, or despise, or detest or scorn. (Writing all these out makes me realize how small the average person’s vocabulary is, and that is all too sad of a statement.)
It’s fine to strongly dislike something, but it’s not fine to put someone down. Pay attention to when you’re talking rudely or from a place of negativity or speaking of something you loath. How does it make you feel? I’ll tell you, it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better. Maybe for a split second, but then the feeling vanishes and is replaced by a faked happiness. It just makes me feel like crap. Think about that the next time you’re about to open your mouth to say something negative. You could be hurting not only someone else but you as well.
Don’t fall into society’s trap of being “cool” or “hip” or whatever kids are saying these days. You don’t have to be able to roast someone or have a witty comeback to be likable. Honestly, while yes I think these things can be funny, they always make a part of me sad inside because of who it make be hurting. Plus, all the people that I glorify and wish I were more like, aren’t people that know how to make fun of people, they’re people who know how to give a good compliment and say please and thank you and smile at me and say “I love you” often and I’ve never heard them say a rude thing in their life.
Don’t try to be trendy. It’s too difficult and you’ll always feel like you’re drowning trying to catch up on what’s “in.” Be classy. Be kind.
Now I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, I’m just asking that you think about if what you’re saying, texting, commenting or tweeting is really worth it. It’s okay if you choose not to, but if you do then I want you to understand that even I know it can be difficult and sometimes hate has a way of getting the best of us. Just remember to always turn back to love and kindness.
Lastly, ask yourself this:
Do you want to be remembered as the rude one, or the kind one?
Here’s to kind hearts and open minds.