We all get them. Those days where we don’t feel good enough, or we feel everything too much, or when every little thing annoys us. The days when all we want to do is be alone and cry or just yell into our pillows and then throw them across the room.
I’ve had plenty of those days. I used to get them really often actually. I’d wake up and could just tell that that day was going to suck, and that just made it even worse. Instead of trying to turn my attitude around, I wallowed in my own pity party and made my bad days turn into bad weeks and bad months.
I think it was last summer when my onslaught of bad days magically disappeared. But not completely. Instead of feeling down in the dumps all day long, the negative feelings had the courtesy of only visiting during the night once every couple days. Then gradually, during my first year of college, those bad nights came less often and almost never happen anymore. This is not due to actual magic, it’s because I’ve learned how to combat them and prevent them from happening, and that’s what I’m going to teach you how to do today.
The feelings will pass
First, when you’re having a bad day, morning, night, hour or whatever it is, you have to fully believe and understand that these feelings won’t last forever. I mean the sun sets and rises every day, but it shines through everything. It’s totally okay if you have your ups and downs as well, just don’t forget to keep up the positive mindset that I talked about in my How to be Positive post awhile back.
It may take you longer than 24 hours to feel like yourself again, but that doesn’t mean you’re never going to get there again. Keeping the trend of nature analogies, think of the moon. It takes it a whole month to get back to shining bright and whole in the night sky, but it never gives up does it? Not even when it completely disappears during the new moon phase.
This is one of the biggest “tricks” I use when I start feeling really down. I just think to myself, “This won’t last forever. I won’t feel like this tomorrow. It’s a one day thing.” Personally, I think it works wonders. Admitting to yourself that what you’re feeling is only temporary will help set that fact in stone. What you believe is true is what will become your reality. (But believing that you’re a millionaire doesn’t mean you actually are one. Ask my bank account.)
Learn to deal with your emotions in a healthy way
When I’m having an awful day, all I want to do is sit alone, listen to sad music, eat too much dark chocolate, snap at anyone who comes too close to me, cry into a pillow, and lay on the floor. And while these things can help unleash all the inner turmoil and sadness I’m experiencing, they aren’t the most healthy way to take care of my emotions. If you give in and let yourself sink into pity and self-wallow, it’s harder to pull yourself out and it’s harder for other people to help you because you won’t be as willing to accept it.
Besides reminding yourself that these negative feelings will pass, you also have to learn not to give into them too much.
Instead of having a full on meltdown, try doing something productive, something that doesn’t make you feel worthless. Some things I do are journal, read, work on a project/craft or call/text a friend or family member. Other things you could do are cook, go grocery shopping, go for a drive, workout and paint your nails, do your hair or do your make-up if that’s something you’re into.
Getting into nature is always something that helps, too. I believe this is because these feelings come from a natural source, just like how trees, plants, animals, and water are natural on this planet. Getting outside helps remind me that I’m only one small thing on the surface of this earth, and puts into perspective how small and insignificant my problems are and remind me that life is a short, fleeting thing and I should enjoy it as much as I can.
Give yourself time to feel
Now I know this isn’t always possible, and some days you feel like your life is over. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself permission to continue to mope and fully embrace the sadness that is plaguing you, but you have to be sure to set a time limit. Tell yourself that you’ll allow yourself to continue your pity party only for the next hour, or the rest of the day or it ends after you drink your coffee tomorrow morning. You can’t let yourself stay down in the dumps for too long because as I said before, you’ll never want to leave.
Now sometimes, it’s not that I’m having a bad day, it’s more so like I feel funky or just not in align with myself. Usually, I confuse it for sadness, and I start racking my brain for reasons I would be so upset and come up empty, so I start to project those feelings onto other things.
This happened to me just last week. I just felt off, like there was no other way to describe it. I mistook it for sadness or anger and invented reasons to be sad and angry. Then sometime that day I came across a post on Instagram that completely explained what I had been feeling and relieved me of my negative energy.
Basically, Catie (@love_warrior), the girl who made the post, explained that sometimes the things we feel aren’t actually ours. We can easily pick up on other’s emotions, and sometimes they engulf us and we begin to think they are our own. After reading through her caption I immediately felt relief. The sadness and anger I had been experiencing weren’t my own, and reading that released them from me. I never did figure out who they had come from, but I hope whoever it was no longer feels the way they did that day.
So next time you’re feeling a little funky, be sure to ask yourself if what you’re feeling is your own, or someone else’s emotions being projected onto you.
If it isn’t autogenous, you should feel these emotions detach from you, but if they do continue to cling I recommend washing them off. Like literally. Just take a bath or a shower or going swimming in a pool and focus on feeling the negative emotions you were carrying around wash off. Or if you’re feeling a little more adventurous, try jumping in a lake, swimming in the ocean or standing under a waterfall to wash the negativity away. I think natural water like these options would work more efficiently since being outside, in general, helps cleanse my troubled mind. But any water will do just fine.
Before I go I have one more challenge for you: when you’re done reading this make a list of five things that make you happy or that you are grateful for. Repeat this list to yourself on your bad days to turn them into good days filled with gratitude. Also, feel free to share your list in the comments! I’d love to hear what makes you smile.
I hope you learned something new from this that will benefit you in the days to come. I created this blog to help people, so if you have any ideas for future posts, or want to ask me a specific question feel free to leave a comment below or send me a message through my contact page! I always love to hear from you guys.
Here’s to having good days and turning the negative ones into positive ones.
What do you do when you’re having a bad day? Let me know in the comments below!